Animal Tidbits #2

Q: How many elephants can you fit in a taxi?
A: Four. (One next to the driver and 3 in back)

Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a taxi?
A: None, it's full of elephants.

Q: How do you know when an elephant is visiting your house?
A: There's a taxi outside with three elephants in it.

Q: What brand of toothpaste to gerbils use?
A: Arm And Hamster.

Q: Why did the farmer feed his sheep iron-enriched vitamins?
A: He wanted to get steel wool.

Q: What kind of monkeys grow on vines?
A: Grey apes

Q :What do you get if you cross two punsters with a hen?
A: Two comedians who lay eggs with a lot of bad yolks.

Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An embarrassed skunk!

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" - "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. "Hmm," says the vet, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to put him down" - "Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man. "No, because he's heavy," said the vet.

Q: What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
A: A duck filled fatty puss!

Q: What do you get if you cross an electric eel with a sponge?
A: A shock absorber

Q: What would happen if a dairy cow exploded?
A: Udder madness!

Q: What did the mother skunk say to her teenage skunk?
A: Don't stink and drive.

Q: What is unique about a goose?
A: It grows down as it grows up.

Q: What is the hardest key to turn?
A: A donkey.