Barbies You'll Never See

• Whoopie Cushion Barbie ...do you really need a description?
• LAPD Barbie ...comes with two nightsticks, in case one gets broken subduing a suspect. Taser also available.
• Microsoft Barbie ...Barbie doll with Bill Gates' head
  
• Realistic Teenage Barbie ...complete with flat chest, braces and acne; pull her string and hear an outpouring of sassy, bratty phrases
  
• Body-Piercing Barbie ...comes with mini-piercing gun and mini-body ornaments
  
• Tasmanian Barbie ...spins like a top!
  
• Siamese Twins Barbie ...complete with surgical instruments
  
• Edible Barbie ...also known as Choc-O-Barbie
  
• Hockey Barbie ...comes with hockey stick and missing teeth
  
• Lance Ito Ken ...with beard, robe, and entirely too much advertising
  
• Marsha Clark Barbie ...with a bad haircut and a bad attitude
  
• Diarrhea Barbie ...always on the run; complete with mini-bottle of Pepto!
  
• Kleptomaniac Barbie ...doll with suction cup hands
  
• Barbie of Borg ...you will buy one. Resistance is futile!
  
• Witch Doctor Barbie ...with potions and face paints
  
• Elvira Barbie ...with skimpy black gown and long, black hair
  
• Werewolf Barbie ...normal doll, except under a full moon
  
• Living Dead Barbie ...use your imagination
  
• Bigfoot Barbie ...sold mostly in the Northwest
  
• Cyclops Barbie ...one eye, right in the middle of her forehead; Cyclops Ken sold separately
  
• Flying Hero Barbie ...yes, I know they made this one, but it's at least as ludicrous as anything we came up with!