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How Hot Is It In Hell?
(A true story)
A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home
exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell
exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support
your answer with a proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up
when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are
moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we
can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all people and
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as
souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1). If Hell is
expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose. 2). Of course, if Hell is expanding
at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So
which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese
Banyan during my Freshman year, "It will be a cold night in Hell
before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that
I still have not succeeded in having a date with her, then #2
cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.
This student got the only A.
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