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Common Sense
A Sad Announcement
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life, but died in the United States
from heart failure early in the new millennium. No one really
knows how old he was, since his birth records were lost long ago
in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals,
homes, and factories, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare
and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with
cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out
of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't
always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't
spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the
adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in
second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression,
and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural
and educational trends including body piercing, whole language,
and "new math." But his health declined when he became infected
with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the
ravages of well-intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched
in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.
His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero tolerance policies. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged
with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended
for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired
for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent
to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent
when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better
treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
When an individual too stupid to realize that a steaming cup
of coffee was hot was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense
threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but
was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations
such as those for low-flow toilets, rocking chairs, stepladders
and auto emissions.
Common Sense finally succumbed when, while the United States
was fighting a war on terrorism, a federal judge declared the
Pledge of Allegiance to be unconstitutional.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and
Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepsiblings: My Rights,
and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.
- Source Unknown
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