Israeli Personals

These are actual personal ads which appeared in Israeli papers.

Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan. Write. POB 74.

Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman.

Desperately seeking schmoozing!

Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing. Under 30 is Okay. POB 64

Attractive Jewish woman, 35+ college graduate, seeks successful Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents' house.

Divorced Jewish man seeks partner to attend shul with, light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important. POB 658

Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.

Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please. POB 56

Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it. POB 435

Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, Havdalah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.

Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good.

Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try it for eight days. Who knows? POB 43

80-year-old bubbie, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male, under 35. Object: matrimony. I can dream, can't I?

I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me, I'll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please.

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53