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Quips & Quotes on New Year's
"I think women get more excited about New Year's Eve than men.
If you think about it, you can see why. What do you do on New
Year's Eve? You get drunk and make a lot of promises you don't
keep. You see, men do that all the time... it's called dating."
- Jay Leno
"I haven't showered since last year."
- Said on New Year's Day
A young man at a New Year’s party turns to his friend and asks
for a cigarette. "I thought you made a New Year’s resolution
to quit smoking," his friend says. "I'm in the process
of quitting," the man says. "Right now, I am in the
middle of phase one." - "What's phase one?" - "I've
quit buying."
The New Year lies before you
Like a spotless tract of snow
Be careful how you tread on it
For every mark will show.
- Author Unknown
Q: What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A: Auld Fang Syne!
"New Year's Eve, when auld acquaintances should be forgot. Unless,
of course, those tests come back positive."
- Jay Leno
"I'm not going to eat until next year."
- Said before midnight on New Year's Eve
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach
you to keep your mouth shut."
- Ernest Hemingway
Life is a book in volumes three--
The past, the present, and the yet-to-be.
The past is written and laid away,
The present we're writing every day,
And the last and best of volumes three
Is locked from sight -- God keeps the key.
- Author Unknown
"I had a big New Year's Eve - they tell me. But New Year's Eve
is a lot of fun. We had a big party. We didn't like our furniture
anyway. It was eighteenth-century Provincial. Now it's twentieth-century
splinters. I invited Les Brown and the band over. We didn't like
our neighbors either. I invited the brass section, too. We don't
even like ourselves."
- Bob Hope
"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted
all of the time and have the time of your life."
- Anonymous
I do not know what still awaits,
Or what the morrow brings;
But with the glad salute of faith,
I hail its open wings!
For this I know --
that in my Lord
Shall all my needs be met;
And I can trust the heart of him
Who has not failed me yet.
- Author Unknown
"I'll see you next year!"
- Said upon leaving someone before midnight New Year's Eve
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