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Live
Each Moment
My
brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau
and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package.
"This,"
he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie."
He
discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite;
silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag
with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.
"Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or
9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special
occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion."
He
took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes
we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft
material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned
to me.
"Don't
ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive
is a special occasion."
I
remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed
when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that
follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen
or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done
without realizing that they were special.
I'm
still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm
reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring
the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending
more time with my family and friends and less time in committee
meetings.
Whenever
possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not
endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish
them.
I'm
not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped,
the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market
if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell
out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm
not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as
my party going friends.
"Someday"
and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.
If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear
and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she
known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for
granted. I think she would have called family members and a few
close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize
and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would
have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing
- I'll never know.
It's
those little things left undone that would make me angry if I
knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing
good friends whom I was going to get in touch with someday. Angry
because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write
one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband
and daughter often enough how much I truly love them.
I'm
trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that
would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning
when I open my eyes, I tell myself that every day, every minute,
every breath truly is a gift from God.
To
realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to
a premature baby.
To
realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To
realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting
to meet.
To
realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To
realize the value of ONE-SECOND, ask a person who just avoided
an accident.
To
realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a
silver medal in the Olympics.
Treasure
every moment that you have! Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is
mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!!
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