|
Application to Date My Daughter
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied
by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current
medical report from your doctor.
NAME________________________ DATE OF BIRTH______________
HEIGHT________ WEIGHT__________ IQ________ GPA__________
SOCIAL SECURITY #________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #__________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_______________________________
HOME ADDRESS___________________ CITY/STATE__________ ZIP_____
Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent? ___________________________
If NO, please explain ____________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married _______________________________
If less than your age, explain _______________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Do you own a van? _______________
A truck with oversized tires? _______________
A waterbed? _______________
A pickup with a mattress in the back? _______________
Do you have earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring? _______________
A tattoo? _______________
(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?_______________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
Church you attend ______________________________________________________
How often you attend __________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
priest? _____________
Answer by filling in the blank.
Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
__________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:
_________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
__________________________________________________________
E: When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is:
__________________________________________________________
NOTE: if answer E begins with T or A, discontinue.
Leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine
fashion is advised.
What do you want to do IF you grow up? ______________________________
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _____________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER
TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_______________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name moron)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years
for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please
do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it
would cause you injury) If your application is rejected, you will
be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin
cases (you might watch your back).
|
