Quips & Quotes on Men

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

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Man does not survive on words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.

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Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

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Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

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Q. What is the difference between men & government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

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Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

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Men are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

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"A German psychologist says that women talk more than men because they have a bigger vocabulary. But, it evens out because men only listen half the time."
- Jay Leno

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Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge & go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed & go to the fridge.

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While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers." "That's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained."