Quotes

• A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
• A king's castle is his home.
• A penny saved is ridiculous.
• All that glitters has a high refractive index.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Anarchy is better than no government at all.
• Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
• As you read the scroll, it vanishes...
• Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.
• Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before.
• Courage is your greatest present need.
• Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
• Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
• Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
• Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
• Drive defensively -- buy a tank.
• Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail friends.
• Entropy isn't what it used to be.
• Familiarity breeds children.
• God didn't create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the 6th.
• Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
• He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.
• History does not repeat itself, -- historians merely repeat each other.
• If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were headed.
• If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!
• I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.
• In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.
• It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
• It works better if you plug it in.
• It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
• Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
• Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
• Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
• Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
• Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
• Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement .
• Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
• Reality's the only obstacle to happiness.
• crew up your life, you've screwed everything else up.
• Silver's law: If Murphy's law can go wrong it will.
• Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
• The road to to success is always under construction.
• Today is the last day of your life... so far.
• Wasting time is an important part of life.
• When all else fails, read the instructions.
• When in doubt, don't bother.
• When in doubt, ignore it.
• Xerox does it again and again and again and...