Job Descriptions

* A cannibal is someone who is fed up with people.

* A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

* An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

* A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

* A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

* A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a "brief."

* A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

* A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

* A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.