You Might Be An Engineer If...

• The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
• At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.
• Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
• Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
• In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
• The Salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
• You are always late to meetings.
• You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.
• You are next in line on death row in a French Prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly, so you offer to fix it.
• You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.
• You forget to get a haircut... for six months!
• You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
• You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting
• You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
• You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
• You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.
• You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
• You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
• You have more friends on the internet than in real life.
• You have never backed up your hard drive.
• You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
• You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
• You know what http:// stands for.
• You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
• You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
• You see a good design and still have to change it.
• You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
• You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it.
• You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.
• You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
• You wear black socks with tennis shoes (or vice versa).
• You window shop at Radio Shack.
• You're in the backseat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and your trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.
• Your checkbook always balances.
• Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
• Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
• Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300 MHz Pentium.
• You've already calculated how much you make per second.
• You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
• Your four basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine;
  2. Fat; 3. Sugar; 4. Chocolate.