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Blessings at the Track
(Thanks, Margie!)
Everyone thought that Mitch was a hard-shell Southern Baptist
but he loved to sneak away to the race track.
One day he was there betting on the ponies and nearly losing
his shirt, when he noticed this priest who stepped out onto the
track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up
for the 4th race. Lo and behold, this horse - a very long shot
- won the race.
Mitch was most interested to see what the priest did the next
race. Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track
as the 5th race horses lined up, and placed this blessing on the
forehead of one of the horses.
Mitch made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on
the horse. Again, even though another long shot, the horse the
priest had blessed won the race.
Mitch collected his winning and anxiously waited to see which
horse the priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race. The
priest showed, blessed a horse, Mitch bet on it, and it won! Mitch
was elated!
As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the
horses, it always came in first. Mitch began to pull in some serious
money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going
to come true. He made a quick stop at the ATM, withdrew big money
and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse
to bet on.
True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before
the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears and hooves
of one of the horses. Mitch bet every cent he had, and watched
in horror as the horse came in dead last. Mitch was dumbfounded.
He made his way to the track and when he found the priest, he
demanded an explanation. "What happened, Father? All day you blessed
horses and they won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he
lost. Now I've lost my life savings thanks to you!!"
The priest nodded wisely and said, "That's the problem with you
Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing
and the Last Rites."
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