The Bible According to Kids
(Thanks, Margie, for sending this in!)

The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been edited.

1. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

2. A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

3. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

4. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

5. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

6. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

8. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

9. Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

10. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

11. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

12. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

13. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives, and 700 porcupines.

14. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

15. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.