A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty
the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
LAUNDRY:
Women do laundry every couple of days.
A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including
his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before
he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he
will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take
his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect
to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated
by reruns of old American sitcoms.
MIRRORS:
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in a mirror.
Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections
in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, Joe Garagiola's
head.
MENOPAUSE:
When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety
of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes.
The nature and degree of these changes varies with the individual.
Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction...he buys aviator
glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and
goes shopping for a Porsche.
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