Women Can Be So Cruel

The husband says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The wife says, "I'll miss you."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere..." Written just below it "I do not!"

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror!