Yo' Momma #5
(Thanks to Ryan, Wizmage, Thomas, RSneede, Lonnie,
Sharron, Roland, Simpson, Shari, Lisa, Dawn & Brian, Johnny,
Josh, Schweick, and Bella for contributing to this page...you
are all great!)
YO' MOMMA SO FAT...
she rocked
herself to sleep trying to get up!
when she got on
the scale, it said "one at a time please!"
when she steps
on the scale, it said "to be continued!"
she wakes up in
sections!
when her beeper
goes off, people think she's backing up!
when she goes to
cross the street, all the other trucks think she's a truck so
they don't stop!
she drives a "double
wide," complete with "wide load" signs across
the back!
when she stepped
on a scale, it said "one person at a time!"
she uses
a shovel as a spoon and a rake as a fork!
when she
steps on a scale, it says Slimfast!
when she wore a
yellow jumpsuit, somebody yelled "TAXI!!"
when she
went swimming in the ocean, the whales started singing "We Are
Family!"
when she
drives a car, she uses her belly to hit the gas and break pedals!
she steps
on a scale and it says "dinosaurs are exstinct!"
she doesn't
walk - she rolls!
whenever
an airplane runs into her, she says "Who's throwing rocks?!"
when she
jumps up in the air, she gets stuck!
YO' MOMMA SO STUPID...
she took
the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff!
YO' MOMMA SO UGLY...
when I took her
to the zoo, the lady at the entrance said "Thanks for bringing
her back!"
if ugly were bricks,
she'd have her own hood!
they filmed "Gorillas
in the Mist" in her shower!
she trick-or-reats
over the phone!
the trick was the
treat!
she doesn't
need a mask for Halloween!
she didn't
need a mask to rob the bank!
YO' MOMMA SO OLD...
when she went to
school, there was no history class!
I told
her to act her own age and she died!
YO' MOMMA
SO POOR...
when someone closed
the freezer door, she said "Who turned off the heat?!"
YO' MOMMA SO GREASY...
she makes
anchovies look bad!
YO' MOMMA'S TEETH
SO YELLOW...
traffic
slows down when she smiles!
YOU SO
UGLY...
when you came out
of yo' momma, the doctor looked at your butt, then your face,
and said "siamese twins!"
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we apologize, learn to laugh at yourself. If you can't laugh at yourself,
you have no right to laugh at anyone else.
