Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Unbelievably Amazing

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I couldn't believe that I was actually reading this!

The paomnnehil pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tulry amzanig huh??

Useless Facts

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Did you know?

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Great, I'll be thin but braindead.)

On average people fear spiders more than they do death. (I'm one of them!)

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Try This!

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While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!

Mind Bender

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Three guys in a hotel call room service and order two large pizzas. The delivery boy rings them up with a bill for exactly $30.00. Each guy gives him a $10.00 bill, and he leaves.

When he hands the $30.00 to the cashier, he is told a mistake was made. The bill was only $25.00, not $30.00. The cashier gives the delivery boy five $1.00 bills and tells him to take it back to the 3 guys who ordered the pizza.

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Little Known Facts

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The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to Test telex/twx communications)

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

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Interesting Stuff

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  • The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
  • Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
  • Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
  • Coca-Cola was originally green.
  • It is impossible to lick your elbow.
  • Q. What American State has the highest percentage of people who walk to work? A. Alaska

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Hemlock Stones - A Riddle

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Hemlock Stones, the not-yet-famous consulting detective, has just been called in to solve the mysterious murder at the Socratic Liar's Club.

There are five suspects each of whom has sworn by the club oath to make two true statements and one false one whenever speaking to someone on the club's premises.

From their recorded statements below, Hemlock Stones was able to determine 'who dunit.' Can you?

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Drink More Water

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We all know that water is important but I've never seen it written down like this before.

Water is GOOD for you! How GOOD is it?

  • 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
  • In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
  • Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.

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Brain Teasers

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Brain Teasers

Anwers Below

1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?

2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?

3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at its highest, how many rungs are under water?

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Black & White

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Under age 50 - You might not understand

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go;
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."

Depending on the channel you tuned,
You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June;
It felt so good. It felt so right,
Life looked better in black and white.

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The Baby

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Can you see the baby in this picture? Keep looking -- it's there!baby pic

Auld Lang Syne

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Amaze your friends this New Year's Eve by actually knowing the words to the song that everyone sings at midnight!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

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