Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Inspirational Quips & Quotes

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A man who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery is an optimist.

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He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.

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"Many find that things can be done in a day if they don't always make that day tomorrow."
- Unknown

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"This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it."
- Psalm 118:24

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"When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them."
- Job 29:24

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BUMPER STICKER SIGHTINGS:

  • I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
  • Never drive faster than you Guardian Angel can fly.

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"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity."
- Joseph Addison

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"Wear a smile and have friends, wear a scowl and have wrinkles."
- Unknown

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"If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God."
- Red Skelton

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Miracles and wonders are the ordinary stuff of God's day.

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"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
- Proverbs 12:18

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"He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored."
- Proverbs 13:18

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Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.

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This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
- The Dalai Lama

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"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."
- Mark 11:25

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"To discipline and reprimand a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child."
- Proverbs 29:15

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"Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
- Deuteronomy 31:6

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We wait with patience and submission until God gives us what we request - or something more.

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"Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up."
- Proverbs 12:25

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"A smile of encouragement at the right moment may act like sunlight on a closed-up flower; it may be the turning point for a struggling life."
- Unknown

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When life seems just a dreary grind,
And things seem fated to annoy,
Say something nice to someone else
And watch the world light up with joy.

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If you think the parade of life is passing you by, perhaps you are not listening to the music.

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"See then that you walk circumspectively, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time..."
- Ephesians 5:15, 16

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If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.

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If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

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If you value eternity, make good use of time.

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Take time to pray - it's a source of power.
Take time to read - it's a fountain of wisdom.
Take time to play - it's a secret of youth.
Take time to be friendly - it's a path to happiness.
Take time to laugh - it's the music of the soul.
Take time to dream - it's a road to greater vision.
Take time to love - it's Godlike.