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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Blonde Football

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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.After the game, he asked his girlfriend how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."

"What on earth do you mean?"

"Well, I saw them flip a coin. One team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' "