Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

Find Us / Like Us

FacebookMySpaceTwitterDiggDeliciousStumbleuponGoogle BookmarksRedditNewsvineTechnoratiLinkedinRSS FeedPinterest
Pin It

Login Form

A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes

Star InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar Inactive
 

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: How does a blonde spell farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: A blonde is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: Why are blondes like pianos?
A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: What do you call a blonde mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.

Q: Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that drinks were on the house.

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) "I dunno!"

Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.

Q: Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: What do you call 12 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: What did the blonde say to the doctor when she found out she :as pregnant?
A. Is it mine?

Q: What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A: An interpreter.

Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.

Q: How do you get a twinkle in a blondes eyes?
A: Put a flashlight in her ear.

Q: Why do blondes use whiteout on their computer screen?
A: They couldn't find an eraser.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: Eight -- 1 to bake them and 7 to peel the M&M's.

Q: Why do blondes get tilt steering?
A: It give them more head room.