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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

The Toilet Brush

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were at work one day when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity.

The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. The brunette won the first prize - a whole year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. The redhead was the winner of the second prize - six month's supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. The blonde won the sixth prize - a toilet brush.

At the office water cooler about a week later, the brunette asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.

"Great," said the redhead, "I love spaghetti!"

"So do I," said the brunette. "And how's the toilet brush?" the brunette asked the blonde.

"Not so good," the blonde said, "I think I'll go back to paper."