Things You Don't Want To Hear From Technical Support
"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
"That's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
"So -- what are you wearing?"
"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n."
"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."
"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."
"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
"Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
"Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."