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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

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  • Oops!
  • Has anyone seen my watch?
  • That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
  • Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
  • Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?
  • Okay, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
  • Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  • Come back with that! Bad Dog!
  • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  • Hand me that... uh... that uh... thingie...
  • If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
  • Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
  • Damn, there go the lights again...
  • Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
  • Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
  • Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
  • I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
  • Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
  • Steril, shmeril. The floor's clean, right?
  • What do you mean, he's not insured?
  • This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
  • Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
  • Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
  • What do you mean you want a divorce?!
  • I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
  • Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
  • That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
  • Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.
  • Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
  • Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!
  • FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!