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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Pardon My French

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The finest culture comes from Frontz
And hoe-knee-swat-key Molly-ponce!

Sally learned to speak in French
She's now a dame and not a wench.

Dick acquired that language fair
And now he's swayve and deb-an-err.

Speaking French will prove you're better
Show you've got a rays-on-debtor.

Read in French and sack-ray-blue!
You're sure to find your tom-pair-doo.

Write in French and you'll be famous
Just like muss-your Albert Camus.

You can bet your dairy-air
Your French will prove your salve-war-fare.

He who is a true believer
Shows his Gallic joyed-a-fever.

French cuisine is all the rage
So drink Bored-O with soft from-age.

Wear a little black beret
And eat cross-ants with French calf-A.

Then there's all that art you know
So speak bow-czar and art-new-foe.

And what a joy to smoke Get-tans
While watching films that come from Cans.

I guess it's not an easy job
To be a phony stuck-up snob...

Such games in Frontz they also play
But there "c'est snob" to speak anglais!