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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Lawyer - Tidbits

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Question: Do you know how to save five drowning lawyers?
Answer: No.
Reply: Good!


Why don't snakes bite attorneys?
Professional courtesy.


How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie?
His lips begin to move.


How can you tell the difference between an attorney lying dead in the road and a coyote lying dead in the road?
With the coyote, you usually see skid marks.


How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?


What do you get if you send the Godfather to law school?
An offer you can't understand.


What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
A great place to start.


Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors.
Bad News: There were three empty seats.


What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.


What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A doberman pinscher.