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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Widow at Funeral

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The old man had died and a wonderful funeral was in progress.

The country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.

Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her
children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."