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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.


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I had to meet a friend of mine in a bar last week in the German Village area of Columbus. It was a business meeting, so I made sure to dress a little spiffier than my normal jean shorts and tee.

As I walked into the bar, I noticed Wayne was sitting at a table right next to a table occupied by a couple of drop- dead gorgeous blonde babes.

As I passed them on the way to sitting down with Wayne, I noticed the girls gave me a "once-over" look. I was secretly pleased when one of them turned to the other and whispered to the other, "Nine."

Well, hell, maybe I better try this dressing up thing more often, I thought. I told Wayne about it when I sat down that the gorgeous blonde had just rated me a nine out of ten.

"I don't wanna burst your bubble," Wayne said, "But as you came in, those girls were speaking German."