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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

You Know You're In Alaska When... 2

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  • you take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists.
  • you know that the term "Break Up" has more to do with the weather than personal relationships.
  • your monthly phone bill is larger than your house payment.
  • there is a bottle of Avon's Skin-So-Soft in your tackle box.
  • you don't know anyone who doesn't own a 4-wheeler.
  • you have ever taken a trip "outside" and tried to cash a traveler's check drawn on an Alaskan bank, and the cashier asked you the current exchange rate in Alaska.
  • you have ever washed your car while there was still snow on the ground.
  • you have ever power-washed your car by parking driver's side into the rain in the morning, and passenger side into the rain in the afternoon. (a Dutch Harbor thing)
  • you have tennis elbow but have never played tennis, just snagged a lot of salmon.
  • you know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full of honey. (If you don't know, don't ask)
  • you know that the Rat Net is not a rodent-catching device.
  • you know the Naknek twitch is an illegal fishing technique, not a spasmodic muscle in your neck.
  • you travel for two days to get outside but none of your family members will travel more than two minutes to visit you.
  • you learned to swim indoors.
  • you leave your Christmas lights up, year round, because as soon as it gets warm enough to take them down it starts getting dark enough to put them up again.
  • your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil.
  • you had waffle soles put on your cowboy boots.
  • your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill.
  • you know that a "handi-man-jack" is a device designed to lift a car to change a flat, not a guy named Jack that comes around your house on Saturdays to repair minor problems.
  • you know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions, not correcting fluid for typos.