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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

You Know You're In Alaska When... 3

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  • it warms up to -35 degrees (Fahrenheit) and you go out in your short sleeves to wash you car.
  • you drive for a mile on square tires on a -65 morning before they eventually become normal.
  • when you have to put your sun visor down at 3:00 a.m.
  • all of your relatives refer to you as "that crazy person that lives up there!"
  • your kids think that you have to get on a airplane to go on vacation.
  • freezing, 32 degrees (Fahrenheit), is warm enough to wash your car.
  • you only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
  • you design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
  • the mosquitoes have landing lights.
  • you have more miles on you snowblower than your car.
  • you have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
  • you've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
  • driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
  • you think sexy lingerie is fleece socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
  • you owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
  • at least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
  • the most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
  • your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
  • you think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
  • you frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.